jiaying. (:
fifth april.

family, friends & dance

HCMAD<3 07S79 adeline ann audrey ainan bertilla charmaine cherylchang clarice estelle ezra huitian jess jiayi jiayun joanne kelvin liuqian meiling mianrong mieoteng nicholas nicole qianying ruixiong sherene serene shionyee siyu stacy tisiana tingyu thomas vanessagoh xianhuan xiyu xueen yueyang yunning
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let's chase the summer and forget the world.

"BOOGIE YOUR WAY TO MILKSHAKE MOMMA ON SAT !! ;D
;CLASS 403

403 made this life-sized woman.called milkshake momma.so funny.we stuck two of them at the pillars right at the school's side gate.now everyone who walks in can see the two red sexy(?) woman up there.jiayuan says when they were sticking it it was like too high then yifang not tall enough then this ah pek offered to help.HAHA IT'S DAMN FUNNY.anyi is so proud of them cos they're attracting attention from alot of people.who included the security guard and the school attendants.HAHA.everybody!must come visit 403's milkshake mommas alright!OREO milkshakes!they are really nice.our food stall is in the canteen.we're selling nachos too(: service is outside audi.hair braiding and spray and all(: BIG MOMMA'S BLING!MUST SUPPORT OKAY(:

haha i was really fascinated at how colourful nanyang is now(: this is probably the very first time in my four years here that something like this is happening.i can see posters banners advertisements of each and every kind everywhere anywhere.this is very different from all the youth day funfairs we have the previous years.it was never a really big affair and not many posters and banners around too.never so serious that we have to miss a day of lessons like how we did today for funfair preparation(: mhmm.haha never really imagined nanyang food and funfair like this.always thought it wont work out and everything.but with everybody's effort.like rushing the proposals during term one.rushing this and that.discussions.heated discussions sometimes.conflicts.sigh.but it all worked out in the end!(: today i was telling wanteng,this is the first time i can sort of feel there's a nanyang school spirit going around.haha i dontknow how true this is.but,yeah(: first time in four years,but thats better than nothing.yay.nanyang lets jiayou together for tmr alright.jiayou 403 and secfours.it's our last year!we gonna make it memorable!(:lets make nanyang funfair a full blast.we can do it ;D

you gotta shake it like this;

(: thanks for the tags but dont worry people im not depressed yah(: im fine,reallyreally.im used to it anyway?AIYUH LOVE !i love chit nicole siyu yunning darlings.and all of nymd.you guys are my family(:

HOMEWORK!my family went to malaysia this morning coming back at night.i have one entire day for myself(: im going out with my cousin.better start on homework.speaking of which,i am so confused.i dontknow what to do la basically.alright.sorry,this is just for my reminder's sake.

math paper
bio paper
chem sia
chinese portfolio
chinese sia
physics toy
LA research file

CRAPPPPPP ):):): and yesyes.i am really fineeeee(:
LOVE TO NANYANG MODERN DANCE <3

this is not the first time anyway;

disappointed [díssə póyntid]
adj
not satisfied: unhappy because something was not as good, attractive, or satisfactory as expected, or because something hoped for or expected did not happen

Encarta ® World English Dictionary © & (P) 1998-2004 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.



disappointment.i am so disappointed in myself.i reallyreally suck at it.it's not that i haven tried.having being dealth a blow,i was depressed.but i tried to pick myself up again.i tried finding out whats wrong.i tried to improve.i knew i could never catch up with you guys,cos maybe im just simply not born for it.but i thought that if i tried my hardest and gave it my all,perhaps someday in the near future i would be able to make it.but no,it didnt happen.the feeling likens that of having being thrown from the heaven straight into hell.straight on.no stopping.it simply kills you.your passion.yes,i had to face another disappointment.so self conscious i felt when i look at my dear fellow mates.who did this for a shorter period of time,yet better.so much better.i felt embarrassed when i have to face them.i dontknow what they will think of me.yet,i tried my best.then,i gave it my all.i told myself it wasnt about me.it's not supposed to be about me.then,i learn.once again,i told myself.determination is the key to success.i wished that perhaps one day,i will be able to achieve what i want.i would be able to soar.i would be allowed to let my passion flow on.then,i thought.perhaps that day i would be able to fit in again.into this whole group.this family.but no,they chose to deal me another blow.one after another.how many can i survive?what do you want me to do.i tried my hardest.i emmulated the good ones.i tried.my best.i tried.i really did.perhaps i was not consistent enough.it's all my fault.after all,who can i blame.i think theres not a single person like me who has to face this kind of disappointments over and over again.people try,but they succeed.i dont.not ever.no matter how hard i tried,it just doesnt happen.it just doesnt.what right do i have to criticise people when i cant even do it myself?soon i came to the conclusion.im just no cut out for it.just not.it hurts to try again.the higher the hopes,the greater the disappointment.i thought it was about being happy.enjoyment.but no,they are all lies.not entirely lies,but the fact is you have to be good.you just have to be.i love all of you.i really do.but sometimes the thing is people dont love you when you are not good.it's just something i've gotta accept i guess.i mean,what else can i possibly do.


okay.let that all out.(: phew.alright.the above is only for me to talk to myself yeah.dont think much of it.daa.what should i do next.

anyway.jiayou for jerkitout modern dancers.i love you all so much <3 and jiayou for caribbean blue and amazonic and bolero.(: we will do our best wont we.we will try our hardest.

the say the sky high above,is caribbean blue;

mhmm.what should i say.haha it has been three weeks since my last update.wellwell.haha.i decided my life isnt interesting enough la.haha.like blogging waste people's time reading.mhmm!anyway.it's the last week of the holidays.i haven gotten any homework done.how wonderful.haha.it's the last year at nanyang!yet i am slacking away.wellwell.anyway.watched cars today at westmall with jiayi chit jiayuan and meisiew!haha it was kinda -.- im sure jiayi can well relate to my feelings(: haha.jiayi meisiew and i are proud to say we fell asleep HEH.oh well.cos it was kinda long draggy and the middle part was rather boring.we all fell asleep at the same part HEH.the last part was quite okay and fun.haha.anyway jiayuan and chit totally love the show la -- this i cannot understand.haha.i liked the omen but apparently jiayuan and chit were dozing off while yunning and i were hugging and tearing at each other trying to be brave.haha.anyway i want to do alot of things.i want to shopshopshop.the singapore sale is tempting me.but i have no money.oh well.haha and i want to watch alot of movies!heard that shes the man is damn funny.then i want to watch runaway vacation.and alotalot.some interesting movies coming up.like scarymovie4(: yay.i want to go out.but theres only a week left.can u imagine the next holidays is gng to be in september.that time everyone will be mugging for the eoys.how time flies.i just realised like today or whatever that basically we only have like four months left?or even less than that.mhmm.secondary school life is going to end off soon for us.how fast.haha i really didnt expect it to fly past so quickly.okay enough of these.anw my sister was being really irritating when she saw the advertisement for runaway vacation.she was like asking me,see!RV got movie leh!nanyang dont have!then she grin to herself and look very proud of herself.MADNESS LA.haha,please.nanyang dont need a movie called NY.lala(:

had a really great and fun dance session today. the acjc dancers sarah and kenneth mr raj brought now were really good(: was in sarah's group, and shes realy good. a good teacher too(: they taught us the rest of jerk it out haha it was fast but fun!! haha. mhmm, was thinking. like we haven really learnt something new for dance in quite some time. the last time we learnt a new dance was jerk it out. today we finally learnt the whole of it. it was mhmm, two and a half hours of dance dance smiles expression energy. seriously, there's nothing like dance <3

i was thinking how good my life would be now if not for my grandmother. cos after going through so much, i would have learnt how to treasure. i just want a home. a place where i can just relax sleep do whatever i want slack around and stone. not like the hellofaplace im living in now. with dance, with my friends and all. i would probably be very happy. my grandmother was pissed today. mhmm yes, again. i seriously dont want to be like her when i grow old. i will be such a nuisance man. mhmm. i wonder when can i get rid of all these. she is such a big heavy burden on my shoulders weighing down on me for so, so long. im always thinking on the bright side, that everything will get better. everything will change soon. i am finally going to be happy. but life always disappoints me. fairytales always have a happy ending. i guess thats why, life is no fairytale. the evil people dont always get what they deserved. those who have gone through much hardship and suffering may not always emerge happy. there may not always be miracles. who says there will always be someone to your rescue. i should stop overestimating life. fairytales are what they are, fairytales afterall. they are meant to cheat our feelings. when we were young, they influence us and cause us to think life is always so wonderful. like, no matter what, you will always be happy in the end. make us think that good will always triumph over evil. so as long as we persevere and be determined, nothing can outdo us.

SMIRK. WHAT NONSENSE. stop lying to me.

when is life going to stop playing with me? i haven felt being truly free and happy for such a long long, long time.

argh. im so irritated. whywhywhy must i have a life like this. why is it that everyone else can enjoy their long awaited holidays. only me. why. why do i have to live in fear all the time. why cant i have that least bit of freedom. why must i forever worry abt going home even when im outside. such that i cant even enjoy myself. why. why cant i even go and sleep when im tired. cos someone's watching. why. i reallyreally hate you. you are making my life so so so miserable. why must you do this to me.

God, when can you save me from all these? i want to get away. from all these horrible crap.

get away,away;